Happiness glasses


Day 44: 2 clementines; raspberry yogurt with half banana, 1 tps psyllium husks, coconut flakes; 2 Cumberland sausages, half Colin-flower, 1 leek, 3 mushrooms; half fennel, half avocado, salad, pepperoni pizza; pale ale.

It was a sunny day today, uh. At least in London. I heard it was sunny in Italy and Greece too. A very fine day indeed. A day to sit outside drinking coffee and doing nothing. Such a fine day. Oh yes, it felt like spring. Flowers blooming. People happy. Dogs happy. Birds happy. Ducks happy. Ducks not dying today. Everyone happy! A day to truly enjoy life. Just like any other day. What day is it again today?
Don’t you dare say the V word.
I’m not going to say the V word. No I’m not. I’m also not going to give you a rant about how coupledom is an overrated, capitalist idea to make you procreate and add a pair of extra consumers to the world. I’m not going to tell you what I’m doing tonight. I’m not going to tell you what I’ve done today.

Instead, I’m going to tell you of an invention a friend of mine and I came up with during one of our winter walks in the park a few years back. The Happiness Glasses. They are specially designed for single people. As you can see from the picture, one of the lenses is darker than the other one. That’s because it’s covered. It could be that the other one is covered instead. The glasses come with the option to cover both lenses, one at a time. Now you may be wondering why. Well, imagine you’re walking in the park and it’s sunny. Or not. And you’re having a really nice day. Or not. And then you see a couple holding hands coming your way. All you have to do is obscure one of the lenses and bam! one of the people of the couple disappear and you can carry on with your day with happiness. Or not.

I’m taking orders. Make me rich.

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