Poo Donor

Day 23: 1 clementine, 1 apple, scrambled eggs and beans on toast; 2 gherkins, half a fennel, pasta with broccoli; whisky.

The news has spread. People are no longer afraid or ashamed of their poo. Poo is the new black. Even the BBC got there now.

Two friends sent me this article today, entitled ‘Super poo’ donors wanted. It’s the story of Claudia Campanella (note the resemblance – most likely Italian and also a CC…i wonder if she uses a bag too) who every morning takes her poo to the hospital so that it can be transplanted into the bowel of people who are sick. Claudia is a poo donor, says the BBC. And she’s not ashamed. She doesn’t care what her friends say. And that’s great because apparently you can save lives by donating your stool. And make money too in the meantime. In the US they pay you $40 per poo. In the U.K. I’m not sure. The hospital which does this kind of poo transplant is in Hertfordshire. Its website does not say how much they pay you. But it says yo can donate to hospitals within 15 miles. They are on the lookout for ‘super poos’ full of bacteria from better-off people. Yes, because they have money to buy good food. So even their shit is better. That’s a bit depressing isn’t it.

Here it’s what the website says: ‘We screen for occupation and social status as we don’t want anybody doing this just for the money. If they are able to feed themselves thoughtfully and without budget restrictions, they are more likely to respond to improvement suggestions for their diet. We look for well-balanced, socially aware individuals who genuinely want to help others.’

Would I qualify to be a poo donor? I do have ‘budget restrictions’ but I eat quite well, don’t you think. Maybe I can send them a link to this blog as a proof. But that maybe won’t make me qualify as a ‘well balanced individual’. I’ll let you know how it goes.

PS: it was my friend’s birthday today so I made her a cake with candle. I didn’t use the same candle I used for the poo though, don’t worry.


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