Total Eclipse of The Guts

Day 20: 2 tangerines, blueberries, 1 apple; 2 lamb samosa, 2 veg samosa, rice noodles with prawns, carrots, sugar snaps; red wine; 2 gluten-free biscuits; yogurt with half banana and honey.

I put the alarm at 4:40am to watch the super-blood-wolf-moon eclipse. But of course it was cloudy and I couldn’t see anything. I walked all around the boat just in case it was hiding behind there somewhere, but it was all to no avail. So I went back to bed and stared at the ceiling until 6:30 when the alarm went off. I hope that now that the moon has finally reached its peak and eclipsed, I will have better sleep – no more anxious searching in empty rooms nor unknown women with fringes rolling their eyes at the end of my bed. Anyway, while I couldn’t sleep I thought about that song, Total Eclipse of The Heart, a classic song loved by heartbroken people. So I decided to make my own version to celebrate the moon eclipse. Here it is. I dedicate it to you… I hope you like it. (All rights reserved. I suggest you listen to the original on YouTube and sing over it).

Total Eclipse of The Guts

Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit bloated
But I keep eating sprouts
Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit tired
Of listening to the sound of my farts
Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit nervous
That I’ve eaten too much and run out of plastic bags
Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit constipated
And then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, every now and then I shit in bags
Turnaround bright eyes, every now and then I shit in bags

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you hold the bag quite tight
I’ll make you hold it on forever
But we’ll only be holding it high
‘Cause we’ll never get IBS together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your bowels are like a cabbage on me all of the time (all of the time)
I don’t know what to do and I’m always on the cup
I’m living on a boat and always shitting in bags
I really need you tonight
Diarrhea is gonna start tonight
Diarrhea is gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I’m only shitting in bags
There’s nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the guts
Once upon a time there was light in my eyes
But now there’s only farts in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the guts.

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